August 05, 2008

They Call Me the Al Gore of Western Oklahoma

I just finished up one of my articles for this week's Elk Citian, the local paper I contribute to for those of you who don't know, and I wanted to share a little of this information with my web readers.
As you know, I'm very interested in "Going Green," and by that, I mean saving a shit ton of money. If a few trees are spared in the process of my bills piling up, even better. I am nothing if not a humanitarian.
In the middle of this month, a business in Elk City will start selling those street legal electric golf carts called the Tomberlin Emerge. Some of you might see the max speed of 25 mph as a downside, but I've embraced senior citizen driving for a long time now. 10 and 2, bitches, that's what's up! I'm totally Morgan Freeman in Driving Miss Daisy.
Not only will you turn heads buzzing around town in a golf cart, but the state of Oklahoma will give a FIFTY PERCENT refund on your Tiger Woods-mobile. A full battery charge will cost a whopping $.62, but the little micro car will go 30 freakin' miles on that one battery. Sixty-two cents will buy like 1/10 of a gallon of gas. I know that's probably a pint or some other fancy metric measurement, but I've never been any good at converting. So, we'll just go with 1/10 of a gallon. Leave it alone.
Ever since I got off the phone with Rolling Retreats owner Alicia Tennery, I've been all drunk on the notion of me, zooming around town in my eco-car, folks fashioing me as the Al Gore of Western Oklahoma, an Earth-savvy tree hugger, much cooler than my typical "tight ass" tag I get among friends. (Don't mistake tight ass for toned ass. Trust me, no one calls me that!) Anyways, I already use those funny-shaped light bulbs, I think I should be nominated for the Noble Peace Prize. Hell, I might even buy a shirt made from hemp and start recycling my beer cans.
Go check out the Tomberlin!

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Anonymous said...

Shonda, they are so cute!!! And price savvy!! Thanks for a great article that made me laugh my ass of, and educated me also!!!

Anonymous said...

i'd have to jack mine up on Mudders, put some lightning bolts on the side, spinner-hubs and a tub-thumper sub-woofer. bitchin' bitches... Fun stuff here! Thanks for stopping by my Trailer Park!

Anonymous said...

My town is totally into those carts, the city even has a bunch and you can sign up to have them for a week!

I think I'd hang big pink dice in mine.

Anonymous said...

I need one! I wonder if you can get them in pink?

Finish This Page, but click on the older posts, too.

The knee-slappin,' cursin,' GOOD TIMES don't start or end on the front page, so read the older posts! Maybe you missed something. Maybe you forgot. I try to post daily, so read the older posts!
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