Shameless Self-Promotion Contest....

because, really, that's what it is.
Now that I finally feel like my layout is only a partial train wreck, as opposed to the cluttered nightmare of its formal life, I broke down and did a little advertising. What can I say, I was losing patience with the quest for world domination inching along at a snail's pace. I want to rule the blogosphere NOW!
Anyways, like all good evil geniuses, I really want to exploit this boosted exposure while it lasts. After all, Momma's kind of a tight ass, so I need to get my licks while I can.
So, here's the deal-o:

THE PRIZE: $15 gift certificate from Chili's, which can be used there as well as Macaroni Grill, On The Border and Maggiano's Little Italy -AND- $25 K-Mart gift card.

Now, I'm sure you are all leaping up and down with eager anticipation. I mean, those talking heads on CNBC that my husband freakin' insists on watching until my ears start bleeding are really emo about the bleak outlook for this Christmas's retail numbers. In other words, they think you are broke.

So, let's get down to business. I just want to draw extra readers in, so in order to qualify to win this shiznit, you have to help me get 'em here. If you have a blog, you can enter once by writing a post(s) that links back to this blog and another time by adding me to your blogroll. Go ahead and leave a comment if I'm already on it. And kisses to you, by the way. For each that you do, come leave a comment telling me which you did and with a link back to it. If you write more than one post, leave more than one comment with the different link backs. If you put the widget at the bottom of this post up on your blog and leave it up through the end of the contest, add 10 more comments. I don't care what these comments say, you can chastise me for being a scheming lunatic if you want. As long as your write widget somewhere in it, it counts. Hell, you can write that alone. Keep reading, bloggers, because you can do the whole myspace and email methods along with these.

Now, if you don't have a blog, don't get discouraged. I'm an evil genius, remember. I've plotted this shit out. Do you have a myspace? Well, if so, go add me, www.myspace.com/shondalittle. Like the bloggers, you can get 10 entries for adding the widget at the bottom of this post to your profile through the end of the contest. Of course, you could just represent for your homegirl and keep it up forever, but that'll just be for love. No fajitas or toys made in China.
On top of that qualification for myspacers, you can also get extra chances by posting bulletins informing your friends of the contest and directing them to my blog. Now, I have to be your friend to see that you have done this, so add me if I'm not already a myspace friend. Don't forget to come leave your comment to this post after each one.

And for the 13 folks on the planet who don't have a myspace and/or blog, you can also participate through emailing your friends. Like the myspace bulletins, it must tell them of the contest, prizes and list my blog's address. Each email must be spent to 10 different people plus me at shondy26@hotmail.com. So I will notice it, it needs to say something like, "Win Free Stuff for Reading The Cowboy Chronicles" or something else along those lines to catch my eye in case it is filtered to my junk mail. After you send the email(s), you guessed it, come back here and leave a comment.

Also, you hip twitters out there can add me to your twitter and, you guessed it, direct folks to my site for the contest. You can do it once daily and, for each one, you get a chance at the prize.

With each entry, mention in your comment what you did for that particular one. Now, since I clearly love to bullshit, I want to encourage to leave other random streams of your thoughts as well. You don't have to, but I'd like it if you did.

This contest will be decided by a random number generator. I will post the winner's name on Monday afternoon and then I will contact the lucky winner and arrange for the goods to be delivered to your house. Calm down, this isn't a ploy for me to get your address so I can stalk you out and pester you until you promise to read my rambling nonsense daily. I may want to, but I won't.

You can play in as many ways as possible. If are a blogging, myspacing, twittering, emailing fool, then fire from all directions. Also, if you think of any other way to give other methods to enter, let me know.
Ahhhh.....shameless self-promotion!





<a href="http://mommalittle.com"><img border="0" src="http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m296/shaunacallaghan/cc.jpg"/></a>

PS--Please overlook all the incoherent jargon in this post. I've been plagued with a mind-wrenching headache all day long. It's like my brain somehow senses the hectic chaos that are all holidays looming over us.

PSS--Good luck!

Momma Needs A New Design!

So this week, the fabulous ladies at BlogMommas, particularly the blog designer Burg, are having the best contest I've found thus far on the web. What is it, you ask? A BLOG DESIGN, top to bottom blog design. In order to win, an enterant must write 5 reasons I must be the lucky person awarded the design. According to the blog, the winner will be picked on Monday "based on creativity and general neediness, LOL!!! Seriously, Burg and I will read every single entry and we’ll pick the best."
Now, I don't know much it will help for you, Readers, to pursuade these ladies, but I don't think it could hurt, either. SO, here goes nothing/

1. I'm a tight ass, so if it's free, I always want it.

2. Because I know someday this blog will further my quest for world domination.

3. This contest is being decided one day before my birthday, just one tiny little day. I think that in itself should qualify me.

4. I'm totally HTML retarded. Plus, I hate this layout. It's cluttered and uneven, but when I think about changing it, my throat closes up.

5. I looked through some of Burg's other designs and she's freakin' brilliant! BRILLIANT! So, I just want it.

6. (This bitch is a bonus, ya'll) Because I'm awesome.

Seize the Carp Contest Winner

Sorry I'm late getting this up, but as always, I'm an unorganized, stuttering mess. On Saturday, I called Elk City's Fashion Nail. The conversation went something like this:
Man Who Answered: Fashion Nail
Me: Yes, I need you to pick a number between 1 and 21.
Man: Ummm....I'm sorry
Me: Yeah, just any number.
Man: Number for pedicure, like price?
Me: Nope, I just need you to pick any number between 1 and 21.
***Long, Awesome, Awkward Silence****
Man:Let me let you talk to the lady who does that nails.
Lady: Hello, may I help you.
Me: Yes, I need you to pick a number between 1 and 21.
Lady: You need me to pick a number?
Me: Yes
Lady: Where are you calling from?
Me: Here in Elk City. I just need you to pick a number.
Lady: For?
Me: To see who wins the contest.
Lady: What contest?
Me: The contest on my blog.
Lady? What's a blog?
Me: Well, it's this web diary thing. If you pick a number someone will win.
Lady: Win what?
Me: a pedicure.
Lady: Ummmm....okay...I guess I'll pick my lucky number.


Since I am rolling out a new feature on the blog today, the chat box over to the right side of the page, I have put that number there. So, if your comment is that lucky number, email me at shondy26@hotmail.com and you can tell me where you want the pedicure and what not.

Also, we aren't done with the new design. It may take a day or two, but you will actually be able to see the tabs, i.e. complaints and grievance, wedding photography, etc. Aside from that, what do you think of the cactus and font design?

"Carp"e Eat 'Em

My life, as I have well documented, provides plenty fodder for this quirky little blog. However, while exploring the internet for damning news stories, I often randomly stumble upon some obscure tidbit that proves I may not be the nuttiest person on the globe. I think it would be a disservice to you, my brilliant readers, not to share this, the bountiful treasure of my explorations.
Logging onto msn.com this evening, an image linking to a story immediately captured my attention. Like a flashing sign in a dimly light room, it sprung from the page, begging to be read.
So, just as the sly webmaster intended, I clicked on the link. Finding this story was particularly interesting considering just few weeks ago, a friend was itemizing her budget aloud to me and, while doing so, filed pedicures in the "needs" folder. We laughed about this as she admitted to treating herself every week and a half. From the few pedicures I've had, I can certainly understand how anyone could be lured into the savory scent of chemicals, a sweeter aroma than roses in spite of a few burnt nose hairs. My friend said she was joking about forfeiting food for the massaging, manicuring pampering, but I've known her long enough to see she was lying. Hell, if I didn't live so far from the toe nail saints and wasn't such a tight ass, I'd probably sacrifice food for the pedicures. God knows I could use it. Now beer, that's another story.
The hilarious comic Dat Phan, who happens to be Vietnamese-American, kills audiences with poking fun at his ethnicity's take on the United States. In one of his sets, he pretends as though he is a military-isque commander of some sort, rallying his people to conquer America from east to west, one nail shop at a time. I'm paraphrasing here, but trust me, it's some funny shit.
The most hilarious jokes are often that which resemble the truth. While my hometown of somewhere around 15,000 people has just two grocery stores, it boasts three nail shops owned by Asian people. And, that's not to mention all the beauty shops that offer a mani-pedi service. So, needless to say, the demand is here, there, everywhere. And, with these new businesses popping up to provide the same or similar services to their local competitor, each one has to work to be noticed in a sea of sameness.
With that very notion in mind, a Virgina spa outside of Washington D.C. concocted a new service guaranteed to "lure" new customers. The "bait" is a luxurious new treatment to rid the feet of dead skin and the spa owners hope both new and past customers will "bite."
John and Yvonne Ho, owners of Yvonne Hair and Nails, were seeking a satisfactory treatment their customers were pond, I mean fond of while offering something un"lake" the competing salons. God, the puns are just "streaming" out of me. Jesus, somebody turn of the corny!
So, when the husband and wife team heard of a rare treatment that spawned in Turkey and spread into Asia, they took a gamble in its success in the D.C. metro. Now, you know if Elk City, Oklahoma, is experiencing this nail salon boom, the Beltway must be bulging over with them.
So, if I understand it correctly, here's the deal: before the filing on your nails begins, before sticking your feet into the personal whirlpool typically resting at the bottom of the pedicure massaging chair, you plunge them into a pool of hungry, yet bare-gummed carps. Rather than your nasty foot crud being scrapped off a razor, which health departments have proven to be unsanitary, starving little fish devoured it. Perhaps your toe jam can elevate you to humanitarian status, thus saving small strands of species. Right?
As you can imagine, customers were at first weary about this new service. Apparently, a few still are. But, according to Ho (their last name is Ho, as if I weren't laughing already. I love that this family hasn't been seduced into the bland tradition of changing their name to blend into main"stream" America. But, maybe then bought a Snoop Dogg cd on the flight to the US and think they have.), if he can get 'em to take the nibbling plunge, they leave with fresh feet, raving about the fishy result.
So, my faithful few, I want to know your opinion. Would you do this? Are you grossed out by the idea of your feet as a feeding frenzy? I'm curious enough about your thoughts on this interesting subject that I think I'm going to open up a contest. Here's how it works:
Today is July 22. On August 1, I will close the contest. If you leave me a comment, any comment, about your opinion upon this new spa treatment, you are entered in it. On that day, I will call one of the three nail shops in Elk City and I will ask for a number between 1 and the enter number. For example, if I have 100 comments (unlikely, I know), I will ask them to pick a number in between that range. Now, I don't know one from another, so I myself will select this randomly. Whoever happened to leave that numbered comment will win a free pedicure on me. And if you send one of your friends to the blog to give their opinion, screw it, if they name you as their referral, I'll give one to both of you if their number is picked. But, remember, they have to leave your name like, "So glad Shonda sent me. Here's what I think."
Now, for you out of towners, DON'T FRET! If you are selected, and you could be, I will send you a money card for the value of a local salon to do your own in your own town. Hell, I'm pulling for you, anyways. The locals are already reading to see what ole crazy Shonda is up to, but you guys don't know of my nuttiness.

The WALRUS contest

Okay, I have a confession: I simply forgot to draw a name of the winner of last week's contest concerning the towel animal from our cruise. Now, I got some interesting answers and a few of you nailed down exactly what our steward said he intended -- a walrus. A few of you were abstract thinkers like us, as though he and the Carnival Cruiseline may have desired to plant another furry friend subliminally to insure a smiley excursion. You know, the one that will promise a memorable trip and also bears the letters "us" within its name. Like a lotus, pervs. Anyways , I did have a few folks submit walrus, which was the correct answer and we drew the name today. However, I'm not gonna make it that easy. I'm leaving the winner's name as a comment under the original contest post. I think you will have to go two pages back within the older posts. So you, Winner, are due a lunch special and drink at the Hog Trough in Elk City. Their number is 243-4647, so call 'em up so you can plan what special your taste buds are craving.

In the Eye of the Beholder Contest

Carnival Cruises are well-known for many things and one of them happens to be the cute, cuddley towel creations left in your room. The quick and crafty stewards stalk your room for each and every opportunity to clean it up and yet you never seem to see one of them.

On our recent cruise to the Yucatan Penenisula, our sailing mates Chad and Jennifer found the most peculiar towel concotion in their room one evening. They came to our room, which was right next door to theirs, to get our opinion on it. Rowdy and I have been on one other cruise and the adorable towel animals, as simple as it might be, were a heart-warming addition to our trip. However, on our first watery excursion, we did not see this particular clothey pet.

Just like that black-and-white cut out photo of Jesus, everybody seems to see something different when they see the photo of the towel animal. You know, kind of like that picture that is a beauty queen when it is turned one way and an old woman when flipped the other. Now, I'm sure many of you will see what we saw, which is what made this thing so attention grabbing. Hell, who knows what you will see. But, post a comment with your guess. At the end of this week, next Tuesday night at 10 pm, a winner will decided. Now, if only one person guesses the right answer, they will win a lunch special and drink from the Hog Trough on South Main in Elk City. For more information on their finger-lickin' BBQ and down home sides, visit http://www.thehogtrough.com/. Swing by, I think you'll like it.

If, by chance, more than one person pegs it, I will draw the name of the lucky person. So, let me know what you think. Tell your friends. Let's hear it.