The Princess and the Pee (and Poop)

This is the first post submitted to me by a guest author, my long-time friend Derek Baden. While this story definitely made me chuckle out loud, it also made me think this was what Derek deserves for trying to potty train a one-year-old. Derek, that son of a bitch, has always been an overachiever and this newest ambition is just more evidence to put up in the full school schedule, 50-hour-a-week work schedule with a part-time job while volunteering at two homeless shelters. All jokes aside, I'm sure if anyone can teach a one-year-old to pee in the potty or anywhere close to it, it would be Derek. And, I'm sure Miss Hannah is a child prodigy like her daddy.
by Derek Baden


We are in the process of potty-training Hannah, and for the most part she is taking to it pretty well. However, there may have been some miscommunication of some sort. Last week, Miss Hannah needed to use the potty, so we took her into the bathroom, undid her diaper and sat her on the potty for her daily constitutional. Shannon turned around to run a bath, and when she turned back around Hannah was in fact doing the deed. The miscommunication part was the manner in which she was using the potty. She was facing her potty, and using the sides for balance, while she was pooping on the bathroom rug. She finished, turned around with utter delight dancing in her bright blue eyes, and clapped. She had gone to the potty all by herself.