September 22, 2008

Breakfast Chubbie at the Quick Lube

One of the best things about living in the rural part of the country is the businesses, not just because the merchants lather you down with friendly service, but also because necessity often breeds multi-faceted stores. For example, in my little town, you can buy a hand-crafted blue suede couch at the same place you can tag your car and renew your license.
Just down the street from my auntie's restaurant is another of my favorites. On one end of a new tin building, you can have your oil changed and tires rotated. On the other end, you can sip on some top shelf chai tea.
As you, my brilliant readers, are well aware, I have the sense of humor of a 14-year-old boy. If I can construe any sentence into carrying a sexual undertone, I will giggle to myself at the sheer genius of my witty word play. Everyone else normally just scrunches their eye brows at me while they yammer on about how I'm almost 30 and, even worse, responsible for turning my darling sons into upstanding young men.
Anyways, as I left the restaurant this afternoon, I noticed that the local quick lube (which in itself is grand, right) was advertising its newest product on the outdoor marque. In big black letters, it said, "Now serving Breakfast Chubbies."
Seriously, I laughed until I shot sweet tea out my nose as I thought, "Breakfast Chubbie, huh? That's exactly what Rowdy served me every morning until the first kid was born. Hell, I think that's how we got the first kid."
Speaking of getting screwed, crude oil had its biggest jump in history on the October futures board as investors searched for a way to hedge against the falling dollar. I mean, clearly when the government just starts printing freakin' money to bail out banks and insurance companies is going to make the value of the American dollar plummet. In other words, that buck in your pocket is worth much less today than it was a week ago now that you and I, the American tax payer, have so kindly picked up the tab for these huge corporations practicing poor business. Oh, and filling up your car is going to be more expensive. So, bigger price tag with less valuable currency.
But, even with the economy melting into a Freddie Kruger-like nightmare, I still love that I can get a breakfast chubbie at the quick lube. Ahhh.....Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind....Memories, sweetened through the ages just like wine

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Anonymous said...

Don't even get me started about the bailouts! Gawd, I could spit just thinking about it. The handbasket to hell is getting very crowded.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if their chubbie is bigger than Wyatt's and Carson's too.

Who the hell knew that the obsession with size could start so YOUNG?

Anonymous said...

I saw the breakfast chubbie sign. I had a moment of deep thought after reading it. Thank you for putting it out there. I laughed my ass off when they were simply selling chubbies. Atwood's sells chubs. I am forced to buy a chub everytime I am there. They are pretty yummy, I might add. I think I will purchase my breakfast at the quicklube treatshop tomorrow and try their version of the "breakfast chubbie". I wonder if they think the same things we have thought while they are putting the letters out there one by one. Maybe they are innocent........ Doubtful.

for a different kind of girl said...

Seriously, this is the kind of stuff I live for. This is the kind of thing that would make me veer off the road in delight if they were promoting a two-for-one sale on chubbies.

Anonymous said...

You're the only person I know that could start with a story about breakfast chubbies, and have it lead into a rant about our country's financial crisis. WELL DONE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wait, you're saying I can get lubed and get a chubbie at the same time?! For one low price?! Amazing.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...I've seen something similar called chubbies (I think it's beef jerky) in gas stations. I of course laughed and had to show everyone I was with!

phonelady said...

I love it breakfast chubbie huh ? that sounds great and what an awesome town you must live in . I hope when I get to tennessee I find an awesome little town I can visit . You rock girl and give those little man cubs of yours a big hug .

Anonymous said...

I would have done a Beavis & Butthead laugh over Breakfast Chubbie. And yeah, I was pissed off about the oil thing yesterday too.

Unknown said...

Ok seriously this is hilarious!! Everytime this commercial comes on me and cookie just die of laughter like little school girls!! I mean come on why the hell would they call it a chubby!! Maybe to get a great laughter out of everyone! lol

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