Paris Does Politics

Well, I've been meaning to blog about John McCain's sad and desperate campaign ad, the one comparing a scholarship-winning Columbia and Harvard graduate who also happened to be the first black editor of the Harvard Law Review, to globe trotting trust fund babies. Please forgive me, my brilliant readers, I've been busy wrangling my lawless children into conformity.
Now, if I would've gotten around to writing that blog, I would've explained how it reminded me of a middle-aged, desperate divorcee, dressing two generations younger than her age or buying midlife crisis Corvettes he can't afford, just to win the attention of an uninterested old lover or a new one, young enough to be his/her child. During McCain's speech last April given aboard the Straight Talk Express, I was all inspired as the old geezer promised to run a clean race, focused on the country's issues and problems rather than dipping into the gutter for spin-doctor dirty politics. Honestly, I already knew the false, sensational email chains on the Internet would add enough smut to this election, so I hoped McCain would stick by his good guns on this one. After all, he knows better than anyone what the collateral damage caused by this kind of politics. Few campaigns have been nastier than the primary he ran against President Bush in 2000, in the Carolinas in particular. He took a few below-the-belt hits thrown by Dubya. But, after some Bush mob, namely Karl Rover's protege Steve Schmidt, went to work for the McCain Camp this week, they lured Ole' Johnny to the dark side. It's hard for me to pinpoint what I find most alarming about the Bush presidency, but at the top of the list is his spoiled frat boy badgering he has lavished upon other world leaders who have disagreed with him. I hope this cheap shot ad of McCain's isn't an indicator of the same isolationist, Imperialistic Bush policies.
Well, I kept scolding myself for my lack of productivity in blogging, Readers. Now I'm glad I spent all that time scouring myspace profiles rather than writing about this ridicules bullshit.
I woke up this morning not knowing it was going to be better than any childhood Christmas morning. No, Santa's elves didn't whip my cluttered house into shape as we slept. Yes, that wise-crackin' Ridge is still talking back to me. So what, do you ask, made this day's dawn better than Kahlua in my coffee? Well, let me tell you. In response to McCain's (the old, white haired dude) ad comparing her to Barack Obama, Paris the heiress released her own. The best part is when she boasts, "Get ready for the debate, bitches."
Simmer down, McCain fans. As you see in the video, Paris, like, totally tells Barack what's up, too.
Like a cocktail waitress in a tacky wig, John McCain was reaching for something that simply wasn't there. When I saw this video this morning, I could just envision John flying into one of this famous shit fits, like the time he called his wife a CUNextTuesday in front of TV cameras. But, it was he who ran that ridicules ad, so it was he who invited this hilarious rebuttal by either of the two people featured in it who aren't running for the presidency. As absurd as Paris is in many ways, she quite cleverly demonstrates that she and the Democratic Nominee are apples and oranges, or three-piece men's suit to a barely pieced swim suit.
***Oh, on a side note, my man Barack has pissed me off recently with his FISA vote, a strategy to look tough on national security.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die