Bill, I Love You So, I Always Will.

Dear Bill,
Happy 62nd birthday! I hope you are having a good one.
I miss you so much, Bill. I look out the window and long for the days that the definition of sex was our most controversial national debate. Remember that time you said, "It depends on what your definition of 'is' is."? Oh man, I'm tearing up.
After you left office, the American people started looking for a president they could have a beer with. I told them all this was a mistake. Everybody knows good presidents are like the neighbor you'd have an affair with. Geez!
Now that Little George is borrowing billions from the Chinese each month, I'm so thankful for the budget surpluses you left us with. Just imagine how big our already overwhelming debt would be if you hadn't! I sure wish Little George would have followed your good example of "blowing" off steam, no pun intended. I think he needs a blowjob, Bill. Wars are the products of the sexually repressed, right Bill! That's why I follow your prestine example and get laid as often as possible. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask if you can just do your country. What's up now, bitches?
So, Bill, I hope your living it up on your birthday. Hell, look at who I am talking to you, I know you are, Big Pimpin'! You are my favorite president ever, hummers and all.
I Love You,
Shonda
PS -- Aren't you glad the FDA approved Viagra, coincidentally during your administration. Now, that's what I call universal health care.

PSS -- I really, really love you. I love you like you love big-haired blonds with blue eyeliner. Kisses! Hugs! Remember that song, "Bill, I love you so, I always will?" Do you think that could be our song? Please?

PSSS -- Happy Birthday, Melissa! I love you half as much as I love Bill, which is a freakin' lot.