June 18, 2008

Black Cat Down

On Monday as I drove into Elk City, the back way as always, an advertisement of Black Cats caught my eye. This is the first one I've seen this year. Son of a bitch, it's that time again, ALREADY, son of a bitch! Now, don't get me wrong, I like the Fourth of July for many reasons. First and most important, there's the beer. You can drink as much beer as you want on the Fourth of July and not a soul will even bat an eye at you. You can pass out at 11 am and all your friends will hail you the Supreme Patriot in the group. I love it ! Now, is this wise, in light of all the semi-explosives other drunken patriots will be blasting off at random, often without warning or reason? I doubt it. Is it awesome? You betcha it is. So, just so you don't completely skip over this, I do like most fireworks.
Okay, reason number two, the Fourth of July is my mom's birthday, which has always made it an extra special holiday to me. Plus, that only solidifies reason number one. Mom's down, for shiz!
And reason number three, the Fourth of July is a day set aside solely to recognize the freedoms insured to us through the United States Constitution and the men and women who've labored selflessly for that. I'm the granddaughter of a veteran, a man who served nearly 30 years in the United States Marine Corps, including two tour in one of the most tumultuous conflict in our country's history and retiring as a Lt. Colonel. Semper Fi, word! I'm also the granddaughter of farmers and ranchers, those who work endlessly often for little profit to maintain our domestic food source. If you know anything about the vitality of countries, you know that resources are a big damn part of that. So, yeah, I love observing the luck I had in the location of my birth.
With that said, what the m-f does Black Cats have with freedom? Holy shit, are we trying to send some poor veteran who already has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder into a full-own flashback? I mean, is that seriously how we want to thank the men and women who put their lives on the line for the longevity of our nation.
"Yeah, come on out, guys. We are gonna have a day just for YOU and, of course, Uncle Sam. Grab a beer, there's gonna be parade and then watermelon. OH, and I think Aunt Sue is making that homemade banana ice cream love so much. Just take a seat in the lawn chair, relax and let us have an extravaganza in your honor!"
And just as the poor vet starts to relax, cue the 11-year-old punk to whip out a roll of Black Cats half the link of a driveway. I've never been in a combat zone, but I'm shaking and my nerves are shot. I feel like I've been put through a 30-hour "interrogation" in the Eastern Bloc. You can definitely see how this would send some old warrior back to Korea, Vietnam, Iraq or whatever other hell hole they were sent for us.
So this summer when you rush out to the firework stand, loading up on the legalized explosion you are about to ignite, freakin' pass on the Black Cats. I know many veterans and I can tell you that forcing them to relive the Tet Offensive is no way to celebrate their service and our nation.

2 comments:

Amanda Neighbors said...

You are hilarious.

Mollie said...

Fun hater. 10 fingers is too many anyway.

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