December 10, 2008

Ridge the Train Hunter

The other night I watched this Law and Order re-run. In this particular episode, this Go Go Gadget, Super Sleuth police dogs rapidly hunted down this dude simply from a brief whiff off some shredded clothes this guy had worn once upon a time. While I do know law enforcement agencies have pretty amazing canine units, I thought this scene was a bit far-fetched, that is, until my four-year-old son did a real life reenactment of this shit in front of my very eyes. Well, maybe not an EXACT reenactment. He wasn't sniffing out suspect or dead bodies. No, it was far worse. He freakin' magically sniffed out the Thomas the Train toys stuffed under a mountain of clothes at the bottom of my closet, trains intended to be delivered by Santa Claus in a little over two weeks.
I don't know if I've mentioned this to you before, but Ridge is kind of obsessed with all things Thomas. And when I saw kind of, what I'm really trying to say is if this cheeky English train was a real life celebrity and Ridge was a bit older, I fear we might have one of those super bizarre fan stalkings to worry about. And because Ridge has been utterly consumed with the cartoon and all the toys quite cleverly marketed to kids like him for about 2 years now, little Rolan was never lived in a house not blanketed with Thomas, Gordon, Henry, Purcy and the freakin' 200 other trains that shunt around Tidmouth Sheds and, somehow, Toys 'R Us. Rolan's far from the Thomas freak his big brother is, but he kinda digs him, too.
So, as you can imagine, when Ridge found these buried Thomas toys as though the actual voice of God had somehow directed him to them, a riot no smaller than the chaos that ensued after the Rodney King riot broke out in my closet.
He screamed until his face blistered out like a hothouse tomato and each word that left his mouth sprayed the spit of a rather pissed off little boy. Of course, I couldn't let him open them. First of all, at this point we have nearly acquired each and every accessory related to Thomas. I have to give him something on Christmas morning. Secondly, while he is a darling boy, the whole Santa guidelines are clearly based on a naughty-to-nice scale. Ridge minds and randomly picks hims momma wildflowers but, let's face it, he hasn't been near good enough for two rounds of Santa gifts.
Eventually I pulled the trains from his steel death grip and hid them in a new and improved location, one that (fingers crossed) should take him at least another three days to hunt down. Until then, I will be in a constant state of pointless reasoning with a four-year-old who just wants his damn Thomas trains. He doesn't give a shit about Santa's broken heart or waiting until Christmas or any other reason I gave him to put the trains down. After all, he's been demanding a Christmas celebration each night for three days and now this. I just don't know if his heart can take it.

Bookmark and Share


Kailyn said...

Sounds like you're going to have to start hiding stuff at someone else's house.

Anonymous said...

I didn't even know they had Thomas the tank engine stuff over there in the states lol My nephews when they were younger were very much into it too. I remember finding presents for me under my parents bed when I was younger also. I wasn't upset I just pulled the whole room apart to find more as I was hyped up with excitement. The my dad comes in and roars at me as they him and mum had hidden presents all over the place lol. You defo need to find a new hiding place. Kids and the things they do, ya just gota love em.

Anonymous said...

Ack! This happened (sort of) to us - I've been driving around with our three-year-old's 1/4 scale horse in my trunk for the last month or so. She SAW IT the other day, and we had to do some fast talking to get it out her mind.

I was so sure the trunk was safe...

Anonymous said...

I swear Thomas is like crack for toddlers! and it absolutely amazes me that my barely 2 yr old knows every trains name on that show, but refuses to say basic words most days! Christmas toys are hid inside rubbermaid boxes. The kids are use to seeing them since everything goes there to die (because I'm sure I'll need it again someday!), and they're less likely to question what's in them!
Good luck!

Anonymous said...


phonelady said...

boy do i know this feeling my youngest was usually the one to sniff out the christmas crap and then he got sneaky about it and started re-wrapping it . man was i ever pissed off then .

Finish This Page, but click on the older posts, too.

The knee-slappin,' cursin,' GOOD TIMES don't start or end on the front page, so read the older posts! Maybe you missed something. Maybe you forgot. I try to post daily, so read the older posts!
Your Ad Here