January 25, 2009

No, My 2-Year-Old Isn't Talking About That......

Well, letting my youngest boy follow in his Thomas the Train-obsessed older brother's footsteps has turned out to bear more damage than just the cheeky little engine further dominating my life and starting up more than one brutal battle between the brothers. It is now leading to more embarrassment than I already face when taking my children out in public.
When young children first start verbally communicating, the general public normally can't understand them for several months. To everyone but their parents and perhaps a few grandparent-types, their mumbled words are gibberish. No two children have the same language. But, to the parental figures of these children, this special language is crystal clear.
As Rolan's infatuation with the Thomas and Friends has grown, he has found his favorite train -- Percy. Maybe that is because he has been strictly forbidden from ever touching some of the others by Ridge the Toy Cop. Either way, Percy is the train of his little heart. He carries a Percy toy in his hand as he darts about the house chanting his name.
But, here's the thing with the chanting. As Rolan delightfully bellows Percy's name, he leaves out a very important part of it, the part that keeps it from sounding like, er, the nether regions of female porn stars. Simply put, there is no "ER" sound, just a PU followed by SEE.
As I was pushing him in the shopping cart a few days ago, his kung foo grip on his Percy toy loosened for just a second, long enough for him to accidentally drop the green train as I pushed forward. I was so focused on my ass-kicking coupons that my frazzled mind simply did not register his frantic screams until several other shoppers had already taken notice to my boy.
"PU-SEE</span>!" he yelled. "I WANT PU-SEE! WHERE'S PU-SEE?!?!"
I backtracked through the aisles, my eyes darting under displays and around carts. With each step, Rolan continued his loud chants and the eyes of many, many others were on me. And just as I was thinking to myself that his echoed words didn't really sound that bad, a rather witty friend just happened to stroll by.
"Hey, so what's that your boy is asking for?" she quizzed with a smirk on her face.
"His train, Percy," I replied. "He dropped him and we are looking for him."
"So, you're sure it's the train he wants?"
"Ummmm.....yes."
"Really? Because it sounds like he is saying something else."
"Oh yeah. Just what is that?"
"Well, I'll just say it sounds like the apple did not fall too far from the tree. Tell Rowdy I said that."
"You're an asshole. Do you think that's what everyone is thinking, too?"
"Oh," she giggled, "definitely."

On a different note, I hope none of you hope for me to love you as much as I love Chris right now. Don't get me wrong, you are pretty rockin' awesome, too. But, Chris has definitely figured out the way to my heart. Sure, he called me a good writer and I do love him for that, but when he complimented by skills at, well, bitching, he won my heart. Check out his site.


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25 comments:

Michele said...

The minute I hit the name of the engine I knew what was coming. this is way too funny.

for a different kind of girl said...

That train was so pulling into the station on this post when I read which was his favorite!

dumbwhore said...

Don't be ashamed that you've birthed Don Juan of the 21st century. Go get a tattoo of him in honor of the achievement!

Zombie Mom said...

I love it.. My 2-year old loves to order everyone to 'sit' as we frequently say that to the dog... she pronounces it 'ssshhh, it"

Chris said...

I promise... I... am.... *deep breaths* I am not... *ahem* I am not laughing at your misery right now. No seriously... I'm not. =P

Jen said...

Did you find Percy?

Michelle said...

I completely love you today Shonda!!!

I sit here on my sofa with my lap top on my lap laughing so loud that I myself forget why i am even laughing after a while!!!

I ride trains all the time, but damn its never been named that!!!!

HAPPY TUESDAY!!!

Shonda Little said...

@ Jen,
Yes, Percy was found.....thank God.

Casey said...

Starting them young over there, are ya?

My best friend's kid said c*ck instead of truck so I used to call everyone I know and have him say "big black truck" over the phone. It was classic and I'm still waiting for her to exact revenge.

Shonda Little said...

I did not think Percy could be beat, Casey. Well played, well played.

Sprite's Keeper said...

And I thought Sprite's butchering of Sleeping Beauty was bad. Take that, product branding! Great story, Shonda, that will be one to embarrass him later on in life.

Chris said...

Chris *ahem* is a she. *giggles* I hope that doesn't mean you're canceling our date Saturday night.

After reading about Casey's c*ck/truck problem, I remembered when hubby used to work at a warehouse and 1 son would inform people that "Daddy's at the whorehouse"

Shonda Little said...

@ Chris,
Even freakin' better. I think girlfriends are better than boyfriends every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Chris said...

Good deal! I might even shave my legs.

Shonda Little said...

I can't wait to tell the husband that I have a new romancing girlfriend who just happens to love my bitching.

Chris said...

Don't tell him about the whole leg shaving thing. Cuz then he'll expect you to do it, too. And really, I think your bitching is why we're all here. Can I get an Amen? LOL I'm kidding of course but it's what first drew me in. That and your beautiful eyes. *bats her eyelashes*

Shonda Little said...

Yeah, it's like voodoo mind tricks that makes 'em not notice the never ending bitching. LOL

growingupartists said...

That's a neat site, thanks for leading us there...great writing! Congratulations on your acknowledgement, you do deserve it!!!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

My 2 y.o. is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, too.... If I have to read The Magic Railroad one more time I'm going to lose it!

On an up-note tho', Percy's voice is my favorite to do when reading the books... Small, British, and totally whiny and obnoxious. ;^)

Michele said...

Ohh man.. that reminds me of this time my precious 18 month old princess started using the F word!! Then one day we were outside playing, she picked up a rock and said "F!" ... quite loudly! I laughed and said "yeah I see the RRRRRRRRRRRock!" Then we really started working on those R's! :)

The Stiletto Mom said...

Oh dear God....that was hysterical. Well probably not for you at the time, but for me it sure was. Thanks for the laugh!

Lorrie Veasey said...

We had this same problem when my son pronounced every tr as an f. It was especially bad when we were walking on the street and a truck went by.

Lindaloohoo said...

shonda,

you know i love pu-see. keep it comin'. ha!

HeatherPride said...

The things kids say! That's so cute that he loves his......Percy.

Meli said...

LOL!!! That's classic!!

When I got to the I WANT PU - SEE part I almost choked on my coffee. I would have loved to have seen the faces of the other shoppers.

Finish This Page, but click on the older posts, too.

The knee-slappin,' cursin,' GOOD TIMES don't start or end on the front page, so read the older posts! Maybe you missed something. Maybe you forgot. I try to post daily, so read the older posts!
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