January 10, 2009

Are You Breaking Child Labor Laws if the Kid Really, Really Wanted to be a Maid? Or Cook? Or Personal Assistant?

I'm sure if you've been coming here for more than a week, you're semi-familiar with Mollie. On the blog, she's kind of my hard ass heckler, although she recently referred to herself rather begrudgingly as my sidekick, which I think might be my life's single greatest accomplishment.
She was all, "Hey, I just realized something. Never in my fucking life did I think I would be someone's sidekick, but I've turned into yours."
I understand that might not be as funny to you as it is to me, but if you knew Mollie, you'd know what a hilarious wise ass she is and then you'd laugh, too. Also, if she's my sidekick, I think that kind of means I am a super hero, right? I mean, I do think I have some super powers, like the crafty ones I used to rook my darling husband into marrying me, an unbalanced, quirky, genius-in-my-own-mind pain in the ass. Check Mate, Super Man!
Anyways, back to the subject, my super sidekick Mollie. Well, in real life, I'm more like her sidekick. She's responsible for my rather addictive vices of scrapbooking and couponing. Also, she's also my go-to baby-sitter. I mean, with her four kids already there, what's two more? At least that's what she always says when I ask. So, as I said, here in the not-so-bloggy world, I'm really her sidekick.
Now, I'm sure you are wondering why I'm just randomly divulging all this Mollie information. Well, it is so when you read this sentence, the one where I tell you that 2 of her kids are staying at our house for four days while she and her man party it up in Vegas, you won't think I'm just randomly watching my blog friends' children. I mean, what a disaster it would be if all 7 of my readers thought I'd generously provide childcare while they're off on some brilliant holiday.
As with every time I keep Mollie's kids, I didn't get her oldest, Hannah, because she apparently wants to use the time her folks are away to spend with other pre-teenage girls. Total bullshit, I say, since she's like a tidy maid and dotting little mother all in one. But, the injustice of not getting Hannah aside, I still like it when any of her other kids come out since my boys adore them so. Just imagine Beattle Mania or the likes of any other screaming, shaking fans and you'll know what I mean.
Because Mollie doesn't trust me with all three youngest of her tribe, she doles them out to me one or two at a time. When she and her man Ronnie went to Vegas last September, I got their four-year-old, Carson. He and Ridge were born just a few weeks apart and are in the same class in Rainbow Lane. They'll battle it out like a bloody Iraqi sectarian clash and then cry like they haven't seen each other in 6 months when it is time to part.
Wyatt, her five-year-old, was sad he didn't get to come to Aunt Shonda's last time. He is, after all, a child after my heart. When he was about 3, he copped a feel and then I taught him to refer to himself, a redhead, as a ginger, just as I call myself, and we've been loving it up ever since. So, on this trip, he got to come out, as did his six-year-old sister Adie.
In all honesty, I was a bit nervous about Adie's trip. After all, our house might as well be called Testosteroneville or Tallywhacker City. In other words, it's pretty boy centric. I just worried that she'd be bored out of her mind or smothered by the three little males that would be nipping at her heels at all times. With a brother who's 15 months younger than her and another who's 30 months younger, Mollie ensured me she'd be fine.
My children were already asleep when Ronnie dropped Adie and Wyatt off last night. After reading to the two of them for no longer than three minutes, they were both sawing logs, too, and I wasn't far behind.
Rolan rises each morning with the sun, sometimes even a few minutes before. Not long after I heard him stirring at the ass crack of dawn, sounds of toys clanking and flying were echoing out of Ridge's room. Visions of toys boxes being dumped onto the floor and into piles of mayhem ran through my barely lucid mind.
As the noise continued, I pulled my dragging ass from bed to patrol the party. Well, it turns out that it wasn't a party at all. With no conscious adult for the first 15 minutes of their day, Adie decided to play Mommy, giving the boys direction while she organized their toys.
I'm not fucking exaggerating here. She ORGANIZED the toys.
Immediately, possible games for the remained of her stay darted through my scheming mind. Tax season is upon us. Maybe Adie would like to play Accountant. I think she'd really excel at Laundry Service and Lunch Lady as well.
Now, I know all you do-gooders are cringing at all this possible child exploitation, but don't you judge me. I promise, it was all her idea.


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19 comments:

Michele said...

OOOOH! A little cleaning fairy. You are so lucky. Can you send her down here. My closets are a mess.

noble pig said...

It's really ridiculous you get all the luck, I mean seriously..send her over, I'll pay big!

Amber said...

Would Adie like to come to Canada? She can learn French and stuff like that. It would be totally fun! For me, that is.

Michelle said...

Please when Adie is done ORGANIZING or whatever it is the kids do these days, please send her to NY!!! I already have an entire list of what she can do for me!!!

Do you hear me?? The list is already written and hanging on my fridge ready to be put to use with Adie!!!

If you need i can tell you what i need from her, but really what business is it of yours???

Duh!!! Ok, sorry i don't know what just happened to me. I was dreaming of everything that could get accomplished here. Because, well i am still in PJ's not showered, did not run yet. You know typical start to my Saturday!!!

Love ya girlie!!!!

Irish Gumbo said...

Uh, there are LAWS against that sort of thing?...oh, shit I am in such trouble ...

"They'll battle it out like a bloody Iraqi sectarian clash and then cry like they haven't seen each other in 6 months when it is time to part." - HA! Sounds like they are Irish...

Jen said...

If you can't exploit other peoples kids who can you exploit? I mean really this is a good thing for everyone involved. The parents get a much needed vacation, well it really can't be to "needed" if they have an Adie so really they ought to haul their asses back here and clean out your garage or something.

I want a sidekick!

Kailyn said...

Forget all those other requests. Adie really wants to come to California. I know this to be a fact.

Mollie said...

ha! Vegas rocks! Suck it losers and haters.

Chris said...

Add me to the Adie list please. I'm in Illinois. Maybe her next project should be to map out her trip so that she doesn't have to back-track too much.

Krissi said...

You gave her candy didn't you?

N said...

Miss Mollie---my favorite person in the world. AND you’re taking on the “Weblings” without Miss Hannah? Wyatt thinks I’m weird because I’m not a ‘ginger’
Take care:0

phonelady said...

Now I see someone beat me to the punch of maybe sending her my way and see if she could maybe lend me a hand at my house cleaning duties as well . This was so cute LMAO right now . Thanks for a great blog dear .

Lapa37 said...

I would like for you to send her my way my kids could sure learn something from her.

Chandra said...

I say...who cares if it's breaking the child labor laws. LOL! If I could get my 7 and 2 year old to do 'actaul' work I'd make them...daddy is counting the days until he can put the 7 yr old on lawn duty!

for a different kind of girl said...

Allow me to by that girl a ticket for on the Nutville Express for a visit to this suburb of Tallywacker City, please!! I've got a list and a bunch of boys around here with a case of the "No's!"

Auds at Barking Mad said...

".....I mean, what a disaster it would be if all 7 of my readers thought I'd generously provide childcare while they're off on some brilliant holiday..."

So does that mean I can't drop the little imp off with you whilst the hubby and I head to the Virgin Islands?

*lol*

Oh and does Adie like lobster? Because if so, send her my way - up here in Maine, and I'll give her all the lobster she can handle and I'll even throw in some taffy too!

J Barton said...

Isnt it wonderful!! Maddie has started doing laundry!! It cant be illegal until you make profit offa what they are doing so I say slave on!!!! What we need to do is pair her up with my Abbie...they seem like peas sharing a pod. Abbie is a organizer big time...Just think of the possibilites!

Casey said...

That kid sounds too good to be true. Maybe she would like to come to FL to play house with my kids? They could use some cleaning tips.

Suzanne said...

Before Adie leaves NY after visiting Michelle, she should come by my place...

Finish This Page, but click on the older posts, too.

The knee-slappin,' cursin,' GOOD TIMES don't start or end on the front page, so read the older posts! Maybe you missed something. Maybe you forgot. I try to post daily, so read the older posts!
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