If I Think It's Tacky, Lord, It Is!

At the risk of startling my longtime friends, I have a confession: I am totally obsessed with Project Runway. Now, for those of you just coming to know me through this blog, perhaps you wonder why those who know me well would be surprised by that.
Well, let me tell you. I am a fashion nightmare. I always have been, even in my wild lady-about-town days when I was mixing it up with tall, dark and handsome men, as well as their short, pale and homely friends. I know a few of you are shaking your heads in a enthusiastic nod of agreement as you read this. I could take any two or three articles of clothing, completely acceptable on their own, and merge them together into a cocktail of chaos and clutter. I would try to give reason to my wardrobe, God knows I tried, but the end result was always the same pitiful mess. It's just like some women cannot find their way around a kitchen, in spite of a ton of labor toward it. I'm hopeless. Two words come to mind: faux and pas.
So, regardless of my utter lack of fashion awareness, I simply cannot miss an episode of Project Runway. Each week the DVR records it, but I wait until the boys are fast asleep, even the big one, before I will watch it. For Heidi, Tim and the pool of competing designers, I want to direct my undivided attention. Finally, this week, midway into the season, the judges have finally done what they should have on the first week; they have sent Stella home.
Again, I'm not claiming to harbor any trendy expertise, for I do not. However, when Stella strolled one outfit down the runway that I would've thrown together and then several more that I would've just passed over in the discount bend at the local leather S&M fetish boutique, even I knew this lady has no future in fashion outside of preparing for motorcycle drag show. Seriously, outside of the biker in The Village People, who wears that much leath-ah (spelled leather outside of Stella's New York apartment.)?
I'm still a little heartbroken that the judges sent my main gay Keith home last week. I found the send off especially unfounded in sight of Stella's remaining grace on the show.
So, from the absolutely least qualified person to say so, thank God Stella was auf'd.