To The Person Sneaking Into My House to Steal My Clothes Hangers,
Fucking stop. No seriously, stop. I'm hip to you, I know what's going down. I mean, what other explanation is there for 20 hangers disappearing each and every week. Are the children gobbling them up for a mid-morning snack?
Every time I do laundry, and I mean every damn time, I have two or three items left in the basket without a hanger to call its own. This is leading me spiraling toward an inevitable meltdown, friends.
So, listen up close hanger thief, I'm through with being nicey nice Shonda. It's time for the claws to come out, bitches.
PS--If you would like to donate clothes hangers toward the cause of me not going completely apeshit crazy, by all means, do. They only have a life-expectancy of 1 month max at our house, but perhaps that will save me from an inevitable freak out.