September 28, 2008

The Clothes Hangers are Melting My Brain

To The Person Sneaking Into My House to Steal My Clothes Hangers,
Fucking stop. No seriously, stop. I'm hip to you, I know what's going down. I mean, what other explanation is there for 20 hangers disappearing each and every week. Are the children gobbling them up for a mid-morning snack?
Every time I do laundry, and I mean every damn time, I have two or three items left in the basket without a hanger to call its own. This is leading me spiraling toward an inevitable meltdown, friends.
So, listen up close hanger thief, I'm through with being nicey nice Shonda. It's time for the claws to come out, bitches.
Sincerely,
Shonda

PS--If you would like to donate clothes hangers toward the cause of me not going completely apeshit crazy, by all means, do. They only have a life-expectancy of 1 month max at our house, but perhaps that will save me from an inevitable freak out.

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8 comments:

..Melissa.. said...

AMEN! I think hangers are on my every shopping list! If you find out who's doing this I want to beat him/her/it with a few clothes hangers myself!

for a different kind of girl said...

I can assure you that I'm not the one stealing them; however, my closet is so full of hangers right now, I wonder who the hell is sneaking in when I'm gone, depositing yours and others in my closet, and then sneaking out while they giggle. Seriously, it's like alien spawning going on in there.

Misty said...

I saw some at the consignment store "Ladybug's Closet" I bet you could get some at a real bargain. OR we have a million wire hangers from the company who cleans Casey's uniforms. I would be more than happy to free up some closet space and donate some to you.

gingela5 said...

I have the SAME problem--and I and my husband have not bought new clothes in a LONG time--I don't get it!

nikki said...

I'd just like the sock monster to return my socks. It's pissing me off.

Dagny said...

I think my cats have been paying visits to your home and dropping off the hangers at my place. Sorry.

Romach said...

I wish we lived closer as I have thousands of them and I could have given you some lol. Its funny the things that go walkie s lol. In this house its drinking glasses. I am terrible for dropping them and breaking them but my hubby thinks we have a little ghost who steals them lol ;-)

anna said...

Dear Shonda:

I haven't been stealing the clothes hangers as much as accepting them as donations, so that we can help rebuild the economy. Thank you for your support.

Signed,
Sarah Palin

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