March 18, 2009

The Life Skill of Proper Cursing

Few things bring joy to a mother's heart like when she sees her young child learn some invaluable life skill. A tears comes to my eye every time I think of my children's first steps, their arms waving erratically for balance, bobbling back and forth as they moved toward me. The bittersweet journey that turns them from infants totally dependent upon you into grown people bound for adventures of their own is marked with these milestones.
Well, friends, I got to experience one today, perhaps the greatest thus far. As I was driving down the road, my oldest boy randomly spouted, "Son of a bitch!!"
Half shocked, I turned back to see what had happened. Apparently his water had spilled on his shirt, which he clearly found displeasing.
"Ridge," I said, "that's a naughty word. You aren't suppose to say that."
The car was filled with an awkward pause as he absorbed my chiding. After he had thought about this for a moment, he explained, "Well, Momma, I just like to say naughty words, just like you do."
At first I was shocked by being outsmarted by a 4-year-old yet again. But, then I realized that I had taught my child a life skill, one he'll actually use. I mean, how often do any of you use sign language. There's no doubt that has made the world a more functioning place for millions of people, but most of us don't have many situations where it is needed. Proper cursing, on the other hand, is priceless. To understand the proper place in a sentence to insert a good "shit" or "hell" is something he'll actually use.
Now, give me my Mother of the Year prize, please!

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20 comments:

Annie Dodson said...

Listen, cursing is IMPORTANT! In my experience, knuckleheads don't listen to you until you dig into their ass. 'Fuck' just may be my favorite word.

HeatherPride said...

HA! My son went through a "dammit" phase for a while. I was freaking out that he was going to pull that one out at daycare or worse - church.

Issas Crazy World said...

A few weeks ago, I received a letter from my four year olds teacher. It said, Bailey said a cuss word today and we'd like you to explain to her that it's not acceptable school behavior. So I asked my kid what she said. She told me that a boy was holding the bathroom door shut and she was inside and he wouldn't let her out. She told him to open the fucking door right now.

I was kinda proud of her. I mean shit, it's exactly what I would have said to the shithead. I figure it's just as good of a skill to know, as anything else is. :)

Michele said...

got to tell you, that is one smart kid you got there. To be able to use son of a bitch at the most appropriate time, and he's only 4. You should be so proud.

Chris said...

Awww such a proud moment. I teared up a little there...

Yesterday, there was a huge crash in the other room and my 3 year old yelled out "What the hell was that?" And she loves saying "Shut the hell up you stupid ass dogs!" No clue where she gets it from...

Jennifer said...

Ouch!

TentCamper said...

cursing is out of controll here. I love to curse, but do not do it around the kids. They on the other hand will find any excuse to give someone a good tongue lashing!

Anonymous said...

I would much rather my son or daughter learn sign language then how to cuss at age 4! Sign language is universal, and I applaud any parent; mom or dad who has the patience and know how to teach that to their children. My grandfather learned sign language while working for NASA, on a flight one time he was seated next to a foreign man, and neither could speak the other's language. When the gentleman did something my grandfather appreciated he thanked him both verbally and in sign language. The man was thrilled as he also knew sign language and the two men were able to communicate the entire plane trip. Cussing takes no skill, learning another language whether it's spoken or signed is not only an admirable skill but a life skill that child can use their entire lives both personal and professionally.

phonelady said...

you make me laugh every time I read your blogs . They are priceless . Yes I have been guilty like every other parent in the universe for that one and it usually would strike at the worst moments . LOL !!! great blog as usual, have a great one .

TexasRed said...

Sweet!

for a different kind of girl said...

Hey, you know, the way I figure it, nothing trumps a good, hearty "son of a bitch!" It's really a special event curse word. I tend to use it that way, anyway, since it requires more words, thus the opportunity for added emphasis as you're going along. You've done well, lady. You've done well.

Shonda Little said...

@ anonymous,
Clearly I'm not sitting around reciting curse words to my kids. Also, the reason I cited sign language is because I've actually spent quite a bit of money and time trying to teach it to my kids. As everyone else who've read this could see, this was a post just for good fun, just kidding around. I did not mean to offend anyone who had spent time learning sign language or who uses it in daily life.
But, I stand by my assertion that proper cursing takes skill.

Laura said...

I am mentoring a teacher who has the most severe behavior disordered kids in our district. He has had to make a distinction between the intent behind the cursing the kids do. When a kid says "oh, shit" when they make a mistake, he totally lets it go. On the other hand, when they scream at him "f*&k you, you f&*king bitch" he throws them in the booth. And yes, they call their male teacher a bitch.
Cursing IS an art.

Casey said...

Any dumb old four year old can drop the F bomb but yours used a swear word in context. That's impressive.

TexasRed said...

Check back at my space on Friday -- I'm giving you an award :) (from one Shonda to another!)

Trixie said...

hehehe!!! Amazing how smart they can be. I tell mine that they can swear as much as they want...when they are 18. Seems to work. (Well, they dont swear in front of me!)

Michelle said...

Son of a BITCH!! I just spilled water on my shirt!!!

And fuck yeah, a good curse word in context is perfection!!!!

Missed ya girlie!!! Where ya been?

lindaloohoo said...

i cuss like a sailor. both in spoken word AND in fuckin' sign language. ::raises middle finger::

i've followed shit, asshole or gawd dammit with 'bad word' to my four year old so many times that he now assigns that designation to any word he doesn't want to hear.
i'll tell him 'no, monkey, please stop that' when he's, like, running with knives. and he'll say 'don't say that mom. that's a bad word.' and i'll be all, what? thinking fast, no swear words in that sentence, what's he taling about?

oh, he was referring to the word 'no.' that's a dirty word to him now.

peace out my sistah. (except to those humorless anonymous people.)

JBA said...

That is hilarious! A friend of mine has a penchant for profanity. She has a great story about going out for ice cream with her five year old daughter. Turns out, the place is closed and the 5 year says "Can't believe them sons of bitches is closed!"

Chandra said...

I thought that was freaking hilarious...look if that's the worst thing any of our kids do then we should consider ourselves lucky!
I've caught my 2 1/2 year old saying the "f" bomb...for NO REASON...of course I explained it's a bad word and I explained that little boys don't say that...then turned around and laughed my "f"ing head off!
Apparently I get the runner up prize!

Finish This Page, but click on the older posts, too.

The knee-slappin,' cursin,' GOOD TIMES don't start or end on the front page, so read the older posts! Maybe you missed something. Maybe you forgot. I try to post daily, so read the older posts!
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